Top 5 Reasons Christian Relationships fail
Let me just say, relationships are hard these days whether you’re Christian or not. But one would think that being a Christian would eliminate most of the problems we normally face in relationships right? WRONG!
Here are the Top 5 Reasons Christian Relationships Fail:
Unrealistic Expectations
Because you met them in church, they’re a ministry leader, or a man/ woman who loves the Lord, you expect for them to be perfect which is an unrealistic expectation.
The key to any successful relationship is having realistic expectations and boundaries. Communicate your expectations and boundaries to each other. Understand that even Christians make mistakes. We are not perfect. Make sure you’re not building a pedestal no one can reach.
Emotional baggage
Think of your emotions as a wound, and that your emotions need time to heal just as much as an actual cut would. It goes without saying that baggage will always affect your relationship at some point.
Unless you learn to deal with it in a healthy way, it will manifest itself in your relationship in one way or another. Don’t expect your next relationship to heal you. Take time to heal. You owe it to yourself, yourself future spouse, and God!
Pressure
“Why are you single?” “You still haven’t found a man yet?” “So you’re just content with being alone for the rest of your life?” Our loved ones may mean well, but it’s comments/ questions like these that can leave single folks feeling less than. It can be hard being the only single chick in your circle, I get it!
But don’t rush into a relationship looking for validation. Wait on God! Be patient.
Unequally Yoked
A lot of people get into relationships thinking they can change or save someone. We set out to try to make this person “see the light”, make this person who we want them to be instead of accepting them for who they really are. We try to make them desire Christ as much as we do. Which is good in theory but not in reality.
If you meet someone, you’re attracted to them, but the two of you are not equally yoked, there are ways that you can minister to that person without being romantically involved with that person. Let them evolve into the Christian God need to be before you become emotionally vested in a relationship that was built on a shaky foundation to begin with . Until then, guard your heart.
Settling/ Avoiding red flags
Sometimes we stay in a bad relationship way too long and we allow ourselves to endure heartache that very well could have been avoided had we had paid attention to the red flags. Red flags are God’s warning signs for what’s to come. Many of us ignore these warnings and then suffer later. If God is showing you who this person is, take heed. If something is unsettling about this person, pay attention .
Pray for discernment, but you must also be willing to accept God’s answer even if it’s not the one you’re hoping for.
Full Article can be found Here
4 Ways to better communicate with your Spouse
Four-step solution to the clam/crowbar predicament:
- Have three thirty-minute couple talk times each week. The man is responsible for scheduling these times and putting them on the calendar. Create a place in your home that is private, quiet, and comfortable with no distractions to talk—virtually all of your intimacy will occur during this time.
- The woman shares one-way and the man reflects what he hears.
- Men struggle with female communication for two reasons: they feel that women talk so much that they get lost, and they feel that women expect an instant response.
- Women: try to talk about one topic at a time, don’t expect him to respond, and categorize what you say into two buckets:
- Maybe-he’ll-respond category. These are topics that interest you and that your man may or may not find interesting enough to give a response.
- I-need-him-to-respond-topics. Always flag vital topics so your man knows that giving you a response is critical. Say something like, “Honey, this means a lot to me, and when you’re ready, I need your response.”
- Men meanwhile need to respond with reflective listening. This lets your wife know that you actually understand what she is saying.
- The man processes and responds. Identify the topics that you find interesting and plan to respond to. Keep a pad of paper handy and write down what you plan to respond to at the next couples talk time.
- Talk about a topic three times. Between couple talk times come up with new reactions, new perspectives, and new emotions about the topic. Talking about one topic in one sitting will never get you intimacy. Talking about one topic in three sessions, with both of you doing further processing in between sittings, will get you intimacy.
Find full article and the radio broadcast HERE
5 Verses to comfort those who struggle with singleness.
Below are five verses along with the opinions of Christian leaders that may comfort those who struggle with their singleness.
Mark 3:33-35
“And he answered them, ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.'”
Jesus never married, and in Ephesians 5, the Apostle Paul writes that the church is the bride of Christ. In a relationship as strong as romantic love and as close as family bonds, Jesus welcomes his disciples. As the Reverend Mark D. Roberts explained in a post countering the popular theories in The Da Vinci Code, “Jesus is more inclusive and counter-cultural than those who would tie Mary Magdalene’s significance primarily to her filling the traditional role of wife.”
Despite the Bible’s emphasis on the importance of marriage and the family, “the relationship that matters most of all is our relationship with Jesus Christ as his disciple,” Roberts concluded.
Hebrews 4:15
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”
The Apostle Paul explained that Jesus Christ, the sinless savior of the world, was tempted “in every respect,” just as you are – that includes sexual temptation, explained Dr. Roger Barrier, founder and president of Preach It, Teach It, a Christian counseling site.
Hunt recalled teaching on singleness in a seminary in the Ukraine. When asked if a single person could be a pastor, a deacon, or even an elder, the seminary president emphatically said “no.” The counselor then shot back, “What a shame. So the Apostle Paul and Jesus couldn’t be a deacon or a pastor.”
I Corinthians 7:8-9
“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
In I Corinthians 7, Paul writes that unmarried people have more time to dedicate themselves to God. Mark Driscoll, founding pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, explained that Paul advised against marriage “in view of the present distress,” likely referring to Christian persecution in the Roman Empire. He did not mean to say that singleness is always preferable to marriage.
Nevertheless, Driscoll argued, a season of singleness gives Christians the opportunity to draw nearer to God and reflect on Jesus, who represented the ideal single man.
Jeremiah 31:3
“I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore I have continued by faithfulness to you.”
In this prophecy to Jeremiah, God promises to rebuild Israel and fulfill His promises. In a post on Purposeful Singleness, a blog geared toward inspiring and encouraging single Christians, Fern Horst quoted this passage along with a few others, as words to consider on Valentine’s Day “if we don’t have romantic love to celebrate.”
Horst also included other Old Testament promises:
“I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you.” Haggai 2:23
“You will be called Sought After.” Isaiah 62:12
“You are precious and honored in my sight.” Isaiah 43:4
“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” Isaiah 49:16
I Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
“If we are pursuing marriage we are pursuing the wrong thing because love then becomes subservient to marriage,” wrote John Fischer on Purposeful Singleness. Instead of trying to find their soul mate, single Christians should focus on loving others, and then prayerfully consider tying the knot later. “Marriage is not an end in itself…it is the servant of love.”
Full article can be found Here
- Published in General Ministry, Marriage, Spiritual Growth
5 ways to bring up a Child in Christ
One of the great struggles we have today in the Church is preserving our children in the Orthodox Faith. Too often they seem not to be interested. Can we somehow motivate our kids to be excited about following Christ and being Orthodox Christians? I believe there is a way. It takes commitment and hard work, but it’s worth it.
1. Make Your Family Your Priority
More important than anything other than the Kingdom of God is our family. I believe if we’re going to raise Orthodox Christian families, our spouses and children have to be our highest priority, next to Christ and His Church.
For the believer, our journey with Christ and His Church always comes first. On that matter, the Scriptures are clear, the Fathers are clear, and the Liturgy is clear. At least four times each Sunday morning we call to mind our holy and blessed God-bearer and all the saints, saying, “Let us commit ourselves and each other and all our life to Christ our God.” Our relationship with God comes first, our commitment to our family comes next, and our dedication to our work is third.
As parents, we need to make a vice-grip-firm commitment that above job, above our social life, above all the things that vie for our time, we will prioritize our families.
If you’re busy, find a way to compensate. I made appointments with my children. If your time is in heavy demand and you don’t block out time for the kids, you’ll never see them. If someone calls and has to see you, you say, “You know, Joe, I’ve got an appointment. I can see you tomorrow.” You decide to prioritize your family.
2. Tell Your Children of God’s Faithfulness
In Deuteronomy 4, Moses is talking to the children of Israel about the importance of keeping God’s commandments. And then he speaks directly to parents and grandparents: “Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren” (Deuteronomy 4:9).
Maybe you are a parent who came to Christ later in life and feel you didn’t do a good job spiritually with your kids, and now they have families of their own. Well, now you’ve got a crack at your grandkids! This opportunity does not mean that you become your grandchildren’s parent. But what you can do is tell those grandchildren what God has done for you, just like Moses says. Talk to them. If you’ve become more dedicated to Christ later in life, tell your grandkids about that. Tell them lessons that you’ve learned. Tell them real-life stories about God’s faithfulness and His mercy to you.
Moses goes on to explain the importance of such conversations by recalling what the Lord had said to him: “that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children” (Deuteronomy 4:10). Children who are rightly taught the Word of God will teach their own children.
And that is the same spirit we tried to keep in family prayer. When the kids were little, we read Bible stories to them every night. We would pray together. We did that all the way through, and as they got older we encouraged them to say their own prayers at night.
3. Love Your Spouse
Thirdly-and I can’t stress this enough-we do our kids a favor when we love our spouses. Psychologists tell us that even more important than a child feeling love from parents is for that child to know mom and dad love each other. Kids know instinctively that if love in marriage breaks down, there’s not much left over for them.
The beautiful passage that describes this love is in Ephesians 5. It’s the passage that we read as the epistle at our Orthodox weddings. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church”
(v. 25). That means, gentlemen, that we love her enough to die for her. We martyr ourselves to each other; that’s what the wedding crowns are about. I love my wife more than life itself. The crowns also speak of royalty. In my homily at the marriage of our younger son, I said, “Peter, treat her like a queen! Kristina, treat him like a king!” That arrangement works out really well.
4. Never Discipline Out of Anger
There are times when things go wrong, even badly wrong. I would love to tell you that none of our six kids ever missed a beat. Or that mom and dad were infallible. I don’t know of a family where that happens. I will say that on a sliding scale, three of our children were relatively easy to raise, three were more challenging. When some of them got stubborn in their teenage years, I would say to Marilyn, “Remember what we were like at that age? They’re no different than we were.” I was difficult as a teenager, and some of that showed up in our kids.
St. John said, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 4). The opposite of that is also true. There is no greater heartache than when our children do not walk in truth. We’ve had a few big bumps in our family. There were nights my wife and I were both in tears as we tried to sleep. We would say, “Lord, is there light at the end of this tunnel?”
One of the verses I memorized out of the Old Testament early in my own parenthood was Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, / And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Let me assure you, that promise from God is true. There were days I wondered whether our family would stand before the Lord fully intact. Thank God for repentance, forgiveness, restoration, and grace.
Two of my daughters have come to me independently as adults and thanked me for holding their hands when I corrected them. They both had friends whose dads embarrassed their daughters, disciplining in a way that was probably too strong. I encourage fathers to guard against a discipline or correction that engenders wrath in your children. After the correction, give them a hug and let them know you love them.There are times when a father may need to refrain from discipline on the spot because he is angry. Remember that line from “The Incredible Hulk”? “You won’t like me when I’m angry.” If that’s true for a cartoon character, how much more is it true for a real-life dad?
5. Help Your Children Discern God’s Will
Let’s look again at Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” The phrase, “in the way he should go,” is not speaking of the way you want him to go. Rather, it’s the way God wants him to go. In other words, taking into account that child’s gifts, his emotional makeup, his personality, his intellect, his calling, you help him discern the path God has for him.
I’m really pleased that Peter Jon is a seminarian and that Wendy’s husband is an Orthodox deacon. But I’m no more pleased with them than I am with Greg, who is a marketing guy, or with Terri, who is a mom of five, or with Ginger and Heidi, who both work outside the home to help their husbands provide for their sons.
To repeat, our job as parents is to try to discern with our children what God wants them to do, and then train them in that way. Whether their calling is in business or law or retailing or service to the Church, I want them to be the best they can be, for the glory of God. And by the way, all of us are in the ministry of Christ by virtue of our baptism. We are ordained as His servants-lay or clergy. Therefore, whatever we do, our goal is to do it for the glory of God.
These, then, are the steps we have tried to take with our children. Thank God, these measures have produced good fruit. At our stage in life, it is wonderful with just the two of us at home to think back over the years and to thank the Lord for children, spouses, and grandchildren who are faithful. There is nothing like it.
That doesn’t mean there will never be any more problems. I’m naïve, but not naïve enough to believe that. There may be bumps yet to come in our lives. But as we confess at our weddings, “The prayers of parents establish the foundations of houses.” These years are not kickback time, but they are a time of thanksgiving.
May God grant you the joy in raising your family in Christ that we have known in raising ours.
Read the full article Here
- Published in Children's Ministry, Family, Life Planning, Marriage
Facts About Forgiveness
Why Do We Find It So Hard to Forgive?
One reason we resist forgiving is that we don’t really understand what forgiveness is or how it works. We think we do, but we don’t.
Most of us assume that if we forgive our offenders, they are let off the hook — scot-free — and get to go about their merry ways while we unfairly suffer from their actions. We also may think that we have to be friendly with them again, or go back to the old relationship. While God commands us to forgive others, he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust or even to like being around those who hurt us.
The first step to understanding forgiveness is learning what it is and isn’t. The next step is giving yourself permission to forgive and forget, letting go of the bitterness while remembering very clearly your rights to healthy boundaries.
Granting Forgiveness
- Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook. We can and should still hold others accountable for their actions or lack of actions.
- Forgiveness is returning to God the right to take care of justice. By refusing to transfer the right to exact punishment or revenge, we are telling God we don’t trust him to take care of matters.
- Forgiveness is not letting the offense recur again and again. We don’t have to tolerate, nor should we keep ourselves open to, lack of respect or any form of abuse.
- Forgiveness does not mean we have to revert to being the victim. Forgiving is not saying, “What you did was okay, so go ahead and walk all over me.” Nor is it playing the martyr, enjoying the performance of forgiving people because it perpetuates our victim role.
- Forgiveness is not the same as reconciling. We can forgive someone even if we never can get along with him again.
- Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It might take some time to work through our emotional problems before we can truly forgive. As soon as we can, we should decide to forgive, but it probably is not going to happen right after a tragic divorce. That’s okay.
- We have to forgive every time. If we find ourselves constantly forgiving, though, we might need to take a look at the dance we are doing with the other person that sets us up to be continually hurt, attacked, or abused.
- Forgetting does not mean denying reality or ignoring repeated offenses. Some people are obnoxious, mean-spirited, apathetic, or unreliable. They never will change. We need to change the way we respond to them and quit expecting them to be different.
- Forgiveness is not based on others’ actions but on our attitude. People will continue to hurt us through life. We either can look outward at them or stay stuck and angry, or we can begin to keep our minds on our loving relationship with God, knowing and trusting in what is good.
- If they don’t repent, we still have to forgive. Even if they never ask, we need to forgive. We should memorize and repeat over and over: Forgiveness is about our attitude, not their action.
- We don’t always have to tell them we have forgiven them. Self-righteously announcing our gracious forgiveness to someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a manipulation to make them feel guilty. It also is a form of pride.
- Withholding forgiveness is a refusal to let go of perceived power. We can feel powerful when the offender is in need of forgiveness and only we can give it. We may fear going back to being powerless if we forgive.
- We might have to forgive more than the divorce. Post-divorce problems related to money, the kids, and schedules might result in the need to forgive again and to seek forgiveness ourselves.
- We might forgive too quickly to avoid pain or to manipulate the situation. Forgiveness releases pain and frees us from focusing on the other person. Too often when we’re in the midst of the turmoil after a divorce, we desperately look for a quick fix to make it all go away. Some women want to “hurry up” and forgive so the pain will end, or so they can get along with the other person. We have to be careful not to simply cover our wounds and retard the healing process.
- We might be pressured into false forgiveness before we are ready. When we feel obligated or we forgive just so others will still like us, accept us, or not think badly of us, it’s not true forgiveness — it’s a performance to avoid rejection. Give yourself permission to do it right. Maybe all you can offer today is, “I want to forgive you, but right now I’m struggling emotionally. I promise I will work on it.”
- Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It’s normal for memories to be triggered in the future. When thoughts of past hurts occur, it’s what we do with them that counts. When we find ourselves focusing on a past offense, we can learn to say, “Thank you, God, for this reminder of how important forgiveness is.”
- Forgiveness starts with a mental decision. The emotional part of forgiveness is finally being able to let go of the resentment. Emotional healing may or may not follow quickly after we forgive.
Full Article can be found here
- Published in Marriage, Spiritual Growth
5 Communication Tools That Can Save Your Marriage
We were blissfully in love and thrilled to be on our honeymoon. Then came day five—we had our first argument. That put us on a slippery slope moving swiftly toward desperation. Within the first nine months of our marriage, Gina and I were both convinced that we not only married the wrong person, but also were condemned to a loveless marriage.
One very tangible side effect of our difficulties was poor communication. I would ask, “What’s for dinner?” She would hear, “I can’t believe you haven’t prepared dinner again tonight!”
She would say, “What time are you coming home?” I would hear, “You better get here and help me because you’re never here.”
We could not express anything we wanted to. We resorted to hurting each other with our words. We did not build each other up … we tore each other down and caused deep, emotional pain. Quite honestly, we had endured so much hurt that we could not see any hope for ever communicating well. Our despair was overwhelming.
In counseling we began learning about intentional communication. I remember thinking, “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. This stuff is so simple … I can’t believe I’m paying this guy for this.”
But, once I got off of my high horse, I realized something very simple yet profound: If communication was really that simple, everyone would be doing it and all of our communication would glorify God and reflect His image (1 Peter 4:11; Ephesians 4:29). Glorifying God did not describe my communication, and it may not describe yours either. In fact, many of us struggle to communicate well even with those we love the most: our siblings, our parents, our children, our spouse.
The road I took to learn about communication was a tough one. Here are some of the tools that helped transform my marriage and change my heart.
- The Principle of First Response: The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds.
You may feel it’s okay to strike at someone verbally because, “He is picking a fight with me.” You may be correct, but that person does not have the power to decide whether a fight actually occurs. That power rests with the responder. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Jesus has a well-worn track record with the Principle of First Response. Recall the times that the Scribes and the Pharisees came to question Him. They were the initiators in nearly all of their communication. Their intention was to defraud Jesus and corner Him. In how many cases were they successful? None. They failed because the power to decide the direction of each conflict rested with Jesus, the responder (Luke 20:19-26).
The implications of following Jesus’ example were huge. My wife’s sin did not give me free license to sin in return. And conversely, my sin did not give Gina free license either. By following the principle of first response, we were being called to take a poorly spoken comment and redirect it.
- The Principle of Physical Touch: It is difficult to sin against someone while you are tenderly touching him or her.
A difficult time to apply this principle is after an argument has begun. However, a perfect time is when you know you are about to sit down and have a discussion about something that might lead to tension.
You know what those topics are in your marriage. Maybe it’s a conversation about a specific child. Maybe it’s your in-laws or your finances. For us, as you might imagine, it was when we sat down to talk about our communication. Those were tough conversations.
During these times, we would sit down and pray together … and touch. Usually we were at opposite ends of the couch with Gina’s legs stretched out across mine while I held them. (You may prefer holding hands or sitting close enough that you naturally touch.)
As we talked, we would inevitably notice something. When our conversation began to drift toward conflict, we stopped touching. We found what I’m certain you’ll find: It is very difficult to fight with someone you are tenderly touching. So, we had a choice at that point: to stop fighting so we could keep touching or to stop touching so we could keep fighting.
This type of tender touching has served us in two ways. First, it is a deterrent from arguing. Second, when we do drift into an argument, our physical separation is a visual and physical cue that our conversation is no longer glorifying God. We notice it, correct it, and get back on the right track.
- The Principle of Proper Timing: The success of a conversation can be maximized if the timing of the conversation is carefully chosen.
The book of Proverbs tells us, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!” (15:23).
Typically, the first opportunity Gina and I have to talk about the day is at dinner. We often take time then to catch up. With four young children, our dinner table is an active and busy one. Consequently, we cannot practically have an extended and meaningful conversation.
So, if something has occurred that I must discuss with Gina, I will wait until the children are asleep. To bring it up during dinner is to invite frustration and ineffectiveness.
Let’s look at a couple of scenarios where we’re more likely to fail.
Gina is a very intentional homemaker and often has wonderful ideas on how to better serve our family. Let’s say she is contemplating a new approach to family dining. She’s been thinking through this for weeks and she’s now ready to get my input. This is a very good thing—but probably not at 1:30 on a Sunday afternoon when I’m watching a football game.
I’m also prone to fall into the poor timing trap. For example, Gina and I could be downstairs enjoying normal conversation. We head upstairs at 11:30 p.m. and Gina is ready for bed. As the lights go out, I ask, “What do you think God is doing with the children?” This is a question Gina would love for me to ask … about three hours earlier. When 11:30 comes, she’s ready for bed—not an extensive discussion.
There are times when a conversation is critical to have at that very moment. In those cases, of course, the football game goes off and we talk. Or, the lights go back on and we’re up until 2 a.m. However, those should be the exceptions rather than the rule. The majority of the time, we should be more strategic in the timing of our conversations.
Are you a “share your feelings” type of communicator or “Just the facts?” We share about this and more proven tips for communication at the Weekend To Remember getaway. Find out which one you are!
- The Principle of Mirroring: Understanding can be enhanced if we measure it often throughout a conversation.
The Scriptures inform us that, if we are to understand and become wise, we must be sure to incline our ears. Proverbs 22:17 states, “Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge.”
Have you ever meant one thing by what you said but the person you were talking to heard something else? It can make for very frustrating communication. If you’re not sure if your spouse is getting what you’re talking about, check to see if you hear this phrase a lot: “What do you mean by that?”
Mirroring can help you test whether you are hearing your spouse properly. Once your spouse makes a point … repeat it to him or her. Say something like this: “So, what I hear you saying is …” or, “Are you saying … ?” Then, in your own words, tell your spouse what you understand to have been said. Then, the most important part of mirroring comes. You must allow your spouse to either affirm or correct what you’ve said.
As we learned this principle, I often didn’t like Gina’s negative or inaccurate summaries of my statements. So, I defended them and failed to allow her the freedom to speak honestly. In time, I learned that her summaries actually were quite accurate; my reactions were negative because I didn’t like how they exposed me.
The point of mirroring is not to be right, not to defend yourself, but to know that you are hearing accurately. If you seek to understand rather than to make yourself understood, then you are primed for success with the principle of mirroring.
- The Principle of Prayer: Success in communication is more likely when we invite God to be an active participant and guide.
This principle is not complicated, but it requires our close attention. We’ve become so accustomed to hearing about prayer that its importance often passes us by.
No matter what principle you might be using at the time or what subject you might be talking about, no scenario is beyond prayer. I have tended to overestimate my own ability to communicate well and righteously. That was evidenced in our first year of marriage.
We will eventually and inevitably sin in our communication with each other. When it begins to drift away from God’s intended purpose for it, we have a choice: Will we be puffed up with pride or will we have the humility to stop right where we are and ask God to help redeem our conversation?
I wish someone would have shared with me what late 19th and early 20th century evangelist R.A. Torrey said on prayer:
The reason why many fail in battle is because they wait until the hour of battle. The reason why others succeed is because they have gained their victory on their knees long before the battle came … Anticipate your battles; fight them on your knees before temptation comes, and you will always have victory.
One of the greatest difficulties that couples face with this principle is awkwardness. They are not used to praying together. So, as they begin to like each other less in the midst of unconstructive communication, the thought of praying together is not very appealing.
We learned an easy fix to this … start praying together. Begin with 30 seconds of prayer as you go to bed each night. Pray regularly as a family prior to eating. Pick one night a week to pray for your children, your pastor, and your marriage. Among the enormous benefits that you’ll see in your family, the regularity of prayer will make praying in the midst of communication breakdown more probable.
The transformation never ends
As a result of God’s grace intersecting with these principles, communication is now among the greatest strengths of our marriage. It’s not that we don’t still mess up—we do. Thankfully, God continues to work on me. He’ll continue to work on you, too.
At one time, I was convinced that I married the wrong woman. She was convinced she married the wrong man. Now, we cannot imagine knowing, loving, or enjoying anyone more than we do each other.
Your relationship with your spouse may differ from ours, but this much is true: Your spouse should be the single most important person you have in your life. Like it or not, communication is the tool that God has given us to knit our hearts and our minds together. Success is possible if we’re willing to apply some intentional principles. We’ve all been called to God-honoring communication. Step forward in humility and faith and watch Him transform you.
Original article can be found here
- Published in Marriage, Uncategorized