5 Reasons Christian Accountability Fails
Accountability groups and partners are not magic pills. While accountability plays a crucial role in personal growth and holiness, there are many accountability pitfalls.
Here are five ways accountability often goes bad:
Problem #1. When accountability partners are absent
Accountability relationships need to be fostered through time together. It is hard to hold one another accountable when partners meet infrequently or sporadically (or not at all).
Often both parties are at fault. We might commit to “holding one another accountable,” but this is something vague, elusive, and undefined. Accountability partners need to have a very clear picture in their minds about what accountability really entails: face-to- face, voice-to-voice conversation.
When accountability partners do not meet in some fashion, the accountability relationship has no foundation. This means confession, prayer, and encouragement are erratic and shaky, at best.
Problem #2. When accountability groups are programmatic
When we read through the one-anothers of the New Testament, one cannot help but see the organic, family dynamic that is meant to exist in the church. We are called to an earnest love for one another (1 Peter 1:22), brotherly affection (Romans 12:10), single-minded unity (Romans 15:5), eating together (1 Corinthians 11:33), bearing each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), and having the same care for each other (1 Corinthians 12:25).
But often our approach to accountability is programmatic. We simply don’t have the quality of friendships that are close and spiritually meaningful, so we search for it in forced and sometimes awkward settings.
The church, of course, should offer support groups and discipleship models. “Program” is not a four-letter word. But these programs should aim toward something rich and natural.
If meeting together, prayer, confession, and encouragement are the building blocks of accountability, then many of the other one-anothers in the New Testament are the “atmosphere” of the relationship. This should not be an empty, austere structure, but filled with the air of Christian love and friendship. You may be “doing everything right” but it still feels empty and cold.
Problem #3. When accountability partners are sincerity-centered
Confession is the central pillar of accountability, but there are a few ways this pillar can be constructed poorly.
The first way confession of sin can go wrong is when it becomes an end in and of itself. This is when we believe confession is the only point of accountability, something we do to put to rest our uneasy consciences and get something off our chests. These kinds of accountability relationships make “getting the secret out” the whole point.
As therapeutic as this might feel—and it is therapeutic—we need to be careful that in our confession of sin we don’t trivialize sin as something that resolves itself with mere sincerity. Jonathan Dodson, pastor of Austin City Life church, says that one surefire way to ruin your accountability relationship is by making it “a circle of cheap confession by which you obtain cheap peace for your troubled conscience.”
Christians do not believe that pardon from sin comes from merely being honest about sin. Your sincerity wasn’t nailed to a Roman cross for your sins; Christ was. Peace with God comes only by leaning on what Christ has done for us (Romans 5:1). We often mistake the relief of unleashing our secrets with true peace.
Conversation must not stop at confession. The outermost pillars of the accountability relationship call us to prayer and encouragement. After humble confession, we should encourage one another with the assurance of forgiveness promised in the gospel, and we should approach God’s throne of grace in prayer together.
In this way we not only hold one another accountable for our behavior, but we also hold one another accountable for trusting in the gospel for our complete forgiveness.
Problem #4. When accountability partners are obedience-centered
The first way the pillar of confession can be built poorly is when we aim at cheap peace. The second way the pillar of confession can be constructed poorly is when the focus is on moral performance.
Some Christian accountability groups are militant about sin—a healthy attitude in its own right. Members want to see others grow in holiness, so this becomes the focus of the group: questions and answers that deal with obedience.
The problem is, mere rule keeping does not itself get to the heart of sin. This is one of the great lessons Paul teaches again and again. Merely knowing the law only aggravates our lusts (Romans 7:7-12), and following rigid ascetic regulations—don’t touch, don’t taste, don’t handle—is “of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh” (Colossians 2:20-23).
What we need is a kind of accountability that corrects our natural tendency to focus on ourselves—own own performance or lack of performance—and instead focus on Christ and His obedience in our place.
Don’t turn the pillar of confession into a pedestal—a place where we can prop up the idol of our own obedience. Don’t turn accountability into a narcissistic program of self-improvement. Accountability relationships like this either center our thoughts on a few benchmarks of success that we might happen to be reaching, or force us into hiding because we don’t want to admit how much we are failing to hit the mark.
Problem #5. When accountability partners forget the gospel
Whether you slide toward being sincerity-centered or obedience-centered, both tendencies have ignored that the gospel is the capstone of accountability.
When we make our groups all about sincere confession with no expectation of change, we trivialize the very sins that were nailed to Jesus on the cross. When we confess the same sins week after week, say a quick prayer, and go home, we merely highlight the cheap peace we feel from refreshing honesty, and we forget to comfort each other with a testimony of God’s grace of forgiveness. We forget to challenge each other to fight sin in light of the motivations God provides in His Word.
When we make our groups all about obedience, we only reinforce our tendency to center our identity on our performance. This either drives us to rigid moralism or hiding the evil that lurks in us from others and ourselves. Either way, these kinds of accountability relationships only reinforce legalism and self-absorption. This robs us of the joy of building our identity on Christ’s obedience, and we lose an opportunity to speak about the grace of God that trains us to be godly.
This is why the gospel is the capstone of good accountability. Our confessions, prayers, and encouragement should all be done under the canopy of what the gospel promises God’s children.
- Confess your sins in light of the gospel. One aspect of repentance is agreeing with what God says about your sin, labeling your sin as truly sinful, as an affront to His holiness, something that cost Christ his life. Confess your sins to God and others knowing He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you (1 John 1:9).
- Pray together in light of the gospel. The gospel promises both grace to cover our sins (Romans 5:1-2) and grace to empower our obedience (Titus 2:11-14). Approach Christ together asking for this grace (Hebrews 4:16).
- Encourage one another in light of the gospel. Knowing that true internal change happens in our lives as we set our minds and affections on things above—the complete redemption that is coming to us (Colossians 3:1-4)—we should help one another do this. Mining the Scriptures together, we can teach and admonish one another in wisdom (v.16). We can strive together to have more of a foretaste of the holiness we are promised in the age to come.
Full article can be found Here
- Published in Leadership, Spiritual Growth
Facts About Forgiveness
Why Do We Find It So Hard to Forgive?
One reason we resist forgiving is that we don’t really understand what forgiveness is or how it works. We think we do, but we don’t.
Most of us assume that if we forgive our offenders, they are let off the hook — scot-free — and get to go about their merry ways while we unfairly suffer from their actions. We also may think that we have to be friendly with them again, or go back to the old relationship. While God commands us to forgive others, he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust or even to like being around those who hurt us.
The first step to understanding forgiveness is learning what it is and isn’t. The next step is giving yourself permission to forgive and forget, letting go of the bitterness while remembering very clearly your rights to healthy boundaries.
Granting Forgiveness
- Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook. We can and should still hold others accountable for their actions or lack of actions.
- Forgiveness is returning to God the right to take care of justice. By refusing to transfer the right to exact punishment or revenge, we are telling God we don’t trust him to take care of matters.
- Forgiveness is not letting the offense recur again and again. We don’t have to tolerate, nor should we keep ourselves open to, lack of respect or any form of abuse.
- Forgiveness does not mean we have to revert to being the victim. Forgiving is not saying, “What you did was okay, so go ahead and walk all over me.” Nor is it playing the martyr, enjoying the performance of forgiving people because it perpetuates our victim role.
- Forgiveness is not the same as reconciling. We can forgive someone even if we never can get along with him again.
- Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It might take some time to work through our emotional problems before we can truly forgive. As soon as we can, we should decide to forgive, but it probably is not going to happen right after a tragic divorce. That’s okay.
- We have to forgive every time. If we find ourselves constantly forgiving, though, we might need to take a look at the dance we are doing with the other person that sets us up to be continually hurt, attacked, or abused.
- Forgetting does not mean denying reality or ignoring repeated offenses. Some people are obnoxious, mean-spirited, apathetic, or unreliable. They never will change. We need to change the way we respond to them and quit expecting them to be different.
- Forgiveness is not based on others’ actions but on our attitude. People will continue to hurt us through life. We either can look outward at them or stay stuck and angry, or we can begin to keep our minds on our loving relationship with God, knowing and trusting in what is good.
- If they don’t repent, we still have to forgive. Even if they never ask, we need to forgive. We should memorize and repeat over and over: Forgiveness is about our attitude, not their action.
- We don’t always have to tell them we have forgiven them. Self-righteously announcing our gracious forgiveness to someone who has not asked to be forgiven may be a manipulation to make them feel guilty. It also is a form of pride.
- Withholding forgiveness is a refusal to let go of perceived power. We can feel powerful when the offender is in need of forgiveness and only we can give it. We may fear going back to being powerless if we forgive.
- We might have to forgive more than the divorce. Post-divorce problems related to money, the kids, and schedules might result in the need to forgive again and to seek forgiveness ourselves.
- We might forgive too quickly to avoid pain or to manipulate the situation. Forgiveness releases pain and frees us from focusing on the other person. Too often when we’re in the midst of the turmoil after a divorce, we desperately look for a quick fix to make it all go away. Some women want to “hurry up” and forgive so the pain will end, or so they can get along with the other person. We have to be careful not to simply cover our wounds and retard the healing process.
- We might be pressured into false forgiveness before we are ready. When we feel obligated or we forgive just so others will still like us, accept us, or not think badly of us, it’s not true forgiveness — it’s a performance to avoid rejection. Give yourself permission to do it right. Maybe all you can offer today is, “I want to forgive you, but right now I’m struggling emotionally. I promise I will work on it.”
- Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It’s normal for memories to be triggered in the future. When thoughts of past hurts occur, it’s what we do with them that counts. When we find ourselves focusing on a past offense, we can learn to say, “Thank you, God, for this reminder of how important forgiveness is.”
- Forgiveness starts with a mental decision. The emotional part of forgiveness is finally being able to let go of the resentment. Emotional healing may or may not follow quickly after we forgive.
Full Article can be found here
- Published in Marriage, Spiritual Growth
5 Communication Tools That Can Save Your Marriage
We were blissfully in love and thrilled to be on our honeymoon. Then came day five—we had our first argument. That put us on a slippery slope moving swiftly toward desperation. Within the first nine months of our marriage, Gina and I were both convinced that we not only married the wrong person, but also were condemned to a loveless marriage.
One very tangible side effect of our difficulties was poor communication. I would ask, “What’s for dinner?” She would hear, “I can’t believe you haven’t prepared dinner again tonight!”
She would say, “What time are you coming home?” I would hear, “You better get here and help me because you’re never here.”
We could not express anything we wanted to. We resorted to hurting each other with our words. We did not build each other up … we tore each other down and caused deep, emotional pain. Quite honestly, we had endured so much hurt that we could not see any hope for ever communicating well. Our despair was overwhelming.
In counseling we began learning about intentional communication. I remember thinking, “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. This stuff is so simple … I can’t believe I’m paying this guy for this.”
But, once I got off of my high horse, I realized something very simple yet profound: If communication was really that simple, everyone would be doing it and all of our communication would glorify God and reflect His image (1 Peter 4:11; Ephesians 4:29). Glorifying God did not describe my communication, and it may not describe yours either. In fact, many of us struggle to communicate well even with those we love the most: our siblings, our parents, our children, our spouse.
The road I took to learn about communication was a tough one. Here are some of the tools that helped transform my marriage and change my heart.
- The Principle of First Response: The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds.
You may feel it’s okay to strike at someone verbally because, “He is picking a fight with me.” You may be correct, but that person does not have the power to decide whether a fight actually occurs. That power rests with the responder. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Jesus has a well-worn track record with the Principle of First Response. Recall the times that the Scribes and the Pharisees came to question Him. They were the initiators in nearly all of their communication. Their intention was to defraud Jesus and corner Him. In how many cases were they successful? None. They failed because the power to decide the direction of each conflict rested with Jesus, the responder (Luke 20:19-26).
The implications of following Jesus’ example were huge. My wife’s sin did not give me free license to sin in return. And conversely, my sin did not give Gina free license either. By following the principle of first response, we were being called to take a poorly spoken comment and redirect it.
- The Principle of Physical Touch: It is difficult to sin against someone while you are tenderly touching him or her.
A difficult time to apply this principle is after an argument has begun. However, a perfect time is when you know you are about to sit down and have a discussion about something that might lead to tension.
You know what those topics are in your marriage. Maybe it’s a conversation about a specific child. Maybe it’s your in-laws or your finances. For us, as you might imagine, it was when we sat down to talk about our communication. Those were tough conversations.
During these times, we would sit down and pray together … and touch. Usually we were at opposite ends of the couch with Gina’s legs stretched out across mine while I held them. (You may prefer holding hands or sitting close enough that you naturally touch.)
As we talked, we would inevitably notice something. When our conversation began to drift toward conflict, we stopped touching. We found what I’m certain you’ll find: It is very difficult to fight with someone you are tenderly touching. So, we had a choice at that point: to stop fighting so we could keep touching or to stop touching so we could keep fighting.
This type of tender touching has served us in two ways. First, it is a deterrent from arguing. Second, when we do drift into an argument, our physical separation is a visual and physical cue that our conversation is no longer glorifying God. We notice it, correct it, and get back on the right track.
- The Principle of Proper Timing: The success of a conversation can be maximized if the timing of the conversation is carefully chosen.
The book of Proverbs tells us, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!” (15:23).
Typically, the first opportunity Gina and I have to talk about the day is at dinner. We often take time then to catch up. With four young children, our dinner table is an active and busy one. Consequently, we cannot practically have an extended and meaningful conversation.
So, if something has occurred that I must discuss with Gina, I will wait until the children are asleep. To bring it up during dinner is to invite frustration and ineffectiveness.
Let’s look at a couple of scenarios where we’re more likely to fail.
Gina is a very intentional homemaker and often has wonderful ideas on how to better serve our family. Let’s say she is contemplating a new approach to family dining. She’s been thinking through this for weeks and she’s now ready to get my input. This is a very good thing—but probably not at 1:30 on a Sunday afternoon when I’m watching a football game.
I’m also prone to fall into the poor timing trap. For example, Gina and I could be downstairs enjoying normal conversation. We head upstairs at 11:30 p.m. and Gina is ready for bed. As the lights go out, I ask, “What do you think God is doing with the children?” This is a question Gina would love for me to ask … about three hours earlier. When 11:30 comes, she’s ready for bed—not an extensive discussion.
There are times when a conversation is critical to have at that very moment. In those cases, of course, the football game goes off and we talk. Or, the lights go back on and we’re up until 2 a.m. However, those should be the exceptions rather than the rule. The majority of the time, we should be more strategic in the timing of our conversations.
Are you a “share your feelings” type of communicator or “Just the facts?” We share about this and more proven tips for communication at the Weekend To Remember getaway. Find out which one you are!
- The Principle of Mirroring: Understanding can be enhanced if we measure it often throughout a conversation.
The Scriptures inform us that, if we are to understand and become wise, we must be sure to incline our ears. Proverbs 22:17 states, “Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge.”
Have you ever meant one thing by what you said but the person you were talking to heard something else? It can make for very frustrating communication. If you’re not sure if your spouse is getting what you’re talking about, check to see if you hear this phrase a lot: “What do you mean by that?”
Mirroring can help you test whether you are hearing your spouse properly. Once your spouse makes a point … repeat it to him or her. Say something like this: “So, what I hear you saying is …” or, “Are you saying … ?” Then, in your own words, tell your spouse what you understand to have been said. Then, the most important part of mirroring comes. You must allow your spouse to either affirm or correct what you’ve said.
As we learned this principle, I often didn’t like Gina’s negative or inaccurate summaries of my statements. So, I defended them and failed to allow her the freedom to speak honestly. In time, I learned that her summaries actually were quite accurate; my reactions were negative because I didn’t like how they exposed me.
The point of mirroring is not to be right, not to defend yourself, but to know that you are hearing accurately. If you seek to understand rather than to make yourself understood, then you are primed for success with the principle of mirroring.
- The Principle of Prayer: Success in communication is more likely when we invite God to be an active participant and guide.
This principle is not complicated, but it requires our close attention. We’ve become so accustomed to hearing about prayer that its importance often passes us by.
No matter what principle you might be using at the time or what subject you might be talking about, no scenario is beyond prayer. I have tended to overestimate my own ability to communicate well and righteously. That was evidenced in our first year of marriage.
We will eventually and inevitably sin in our communication with each other. When it begins to drift away from God’s intended purpose for it, we have a choice: Will we be puffed up with pride or will we have the humility to stop right where we are and ask God to help redeem our conversation?
I wish someone would have shared with me what late 19th and early 20th century evangelist R.A. Torrey said on prayer:
The reason why many fail in battle is because they wait until the hour of battle. The reason why others succeed is because they have gained their victory on their knees long before the battle came … Anticipate your battles; fight them on your knees before temptation comes, and you will always have victory.
One of the greatest difficulties that couples face with this principle is awkwardness. They are not used to praying together. So, as they begin to like each other less in the midst of unconstructive communication, the thought of praying together is not very appealing.
We learned an easy fix to this … start praying together. Begin with 30 seconds of prayer as you go to bed each night. Pray regularly as a family prior to eating. Pick one night a week to pray for your children, your pastor, and your marriage. Among the enormous benefits that you’ll see in your family, the regularity of prayer will make praying in the midst of communication breakdown more probable.
The transformation never ends
As a result of God’s grace intersecting with these principles, communication is now among the greatest strengths of our marriage. It’s not that we don’t still mess up—we do. Thankfully, God continues to work on me. He’ll continue to work on you, too.
At one time, I was convinced that I married the wrong woman. She was convinced she married the wrong man. Now, we cannot imagine knowing, loving, or enjoying anyone more than we do each other.
Your relationship with your spouse may differ from ours, but this much is true: Your spouse should be the single most important person you have in your life. Like it or not, communication is the tool that God has given us to knit our hearts and our minds together. Success is possible if we’re willing to apply some intentional principles. We’ve all been called to God-honoring communication. Step forward in humility and faith and watch Him transform you.
Original article can be found here
- Published in Marriage, Uncategorized
10 Warning Signs a Servant Leader Has Become the ‘King’ of His Kingdom
“Here are some signs that a leader has become the “king.”
As Christian leaders, we are called to serve others even as we’re completely reliant on God. Too often, though, a leader who was once a servant wrongly transitions into being the king of his own kingdom. Here are some signs that a leader has become the “king”:
1. Even if he invites discussion from church leaders, he does not change his mind. The “discussion” is in name only, as his decisions are already made.
2. He sees everyone else as expendable. If he’s worried about church members leaving, you’d never know it. In fact, he can usually hyper-spiritualize the reasons that others leave.
3. He is seldom, if ever, wrong. Kings somehow convince themselves that nobody can do things as well as they can. Everybody else still has something to learn.
4. Staff members tend to stay for only a short time. Kings are good at recruiting strong staff members, but not so good at keeping the best of them. Kings want dependents more than co-laborers.
5. He seldom allows others to preach. The pulpit becomes his platform, and he rarely gives up that position, even for a single Sunday. He’s most unwilling to share that space with gifted speakers he might perceive as more gifted than he.
6. He treats others as “subjects.” That is, people become a means to an end: tools to help him build his kingdom more than brothers and sisters in Christ.
7. He demands unquestioned loyalty. Even the slightest sign of disagreement is considered rebellion.
8. He expands his kingdom broadly, but not deeply. After all, deeply-developed kingdoms require serious discipleship—and genuine disciples would recognize the problem with a king’s leadership style.
9. Often, those who know him best question his spirituality. That’s not a surprise, though. Kings depend on themselves, not God.
10. He does not consider leadership succession. He might talk about retirement at some point, but it’s often just talk. Kings don’t give up their position easily.
Lest we judge the “king” leader too seriously, though, all of us are susceptible to moving in this unhealthy direction. Pride is always a temptation for Christian leaders.
Originally posted here
- Published in General Ministry, Leadership
Eight Common Mistakes Rookie Pastors Make
By Thom Rainer
I met one of the most stupid rookie pastors I’ve ever known.
The year was 1984. I saw him when I looked in the mirror.
It is excruciating for me to recall some of the dumb things I did. I am so grateful for church members who demonstrated love and grace. I am thankful I did not do something so stupid that it had a lasting impact on my ministry.
I love pastors. I love rookie pastors. As I have worked with hundreds of rookie pastors over the years, I see a pattern of mistakes many of them make. I pray my highlighting of these eight common mistakes will be helpful to some of you.
- They handle personnel issues with difficulty. Most of these rookies have never had direct supervisory responsibility or led an organization. They often have difficulty confronting direct reports. They can make rash decisions without considering the unintended consequences.
- They amplify criticisms. Most of us don’t enjoy criticism. Rookie pastors often have never been criticized as a leader. The criticism stings, and the pastors can make more of the criticism than they should.
- They are not disciplined with their schedules. Not only are most rookie pastors in a leadership role for the first time, they are put in the unstructured role of a pastor. Many of them have no idea how to utilize their time effectively. They either become workaholics, lazy bums, absentee pastors, or inefficient users of time.
- They don’t often ask for help. Many of them desperately need help in business, finance, counseling, time management, conflict resolution, preaching, leadership, and many other areas.
- They demonstrate favoritism. When you spend most of your time with a select group of people in the secular world, it’s called “relationships.” When you spend most of your time with a select group of people in the church, it’s called “favoritism.”
- They don’t seek feedback or coaching. They either don’t want to hear it, or they don’t know how to get it.
- They don’t continue their education. Education should not end with seminary or Bible college. It should be ongoing, either formal or informal.
- They are influenced by the latest fad or group. One rookie pastor got most of his leadership insights from a group who had no idea about the context in which he ministered. He listened to them and made some grave mistakes.
One of the reasons I do what I do is to help pastors as much as possible, both rookies and veterans. I pray these words will prove beneficial to you who are just beginning a lifetime of ministry as a local church pastor.
Originally posted here
- Published in General Ministry, Leadership
To Drink or Not to Drink
To Drink or Not to Drink: By Norman Geisler
A Sober Look at the Question
The Main Points
- The Bible condemns using strong alcoholic beverages and drunkenness.
- In Bible times, they used light alcoholic beverages in moderation.
- Today, given the many harmful results of alcohol and the many non-alcoholic alternatives, total abstinence is the best policy.
Many Reasons Not to Drink (or use other addictive drugs)
- It is Condemned
- The Bible Condemns Strong Drink as a beverage.
- Today’s Beer and Wine are Strong Drink.
- Hence, Today’s Beer and Wine are Condemned by the Bible as a beverage.
- We Should not do What God Condemns.
- Therefore, we should not drink today’s beer and wine as a beverage.
Bible Condemns Intoxicating Drinks
“Wine is a mocker [yayin], intoxicating drink [shekar] arouses brawling, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise” (Prov. 20:1).
“Do not look on wine [yayin] when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when is swirls around smoothly. At last it bites like a serpent, and stings like a viper” (Prov. 23:31-32).
“Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints?…Those who linger over wine (Prov. 23:29-30).
“Give strong drink [shekar] to him who is dying…” (Prov. 31:6).
“Woe to those who rise early in the morning, That they may follow strong drink; Who continue until night till wine inflames them” (Isa. 5:11).
“Strong drink is bitter to those who drink it” (Isa. 24:9).
“Woe to men valiant for mixing strong drink” (Isa. 5:22).
“But they [the priests and prophets] have also erred through wine, And through strong drink are out of the way” (Isa. 28:7 cf. 56:12).
Only false prophets say: “I will prophesy to you of wine and strong drink” (Micah 2:11).
“Do not drink wine (yayin) or intoxicating drink (shekar), you, nor your sons with you, when you go into the tabernacle of meeting lest, you die” (Lev. 10:9 NKJV).
“When a man or a women makes a special vow, the vow of a Nazirite, to dedicate himself to the Lord, he shall abstain from wine yayin) and strong drink” (shekar) (Num. 6:2-3 NASB).
To Samson: “Now drink no wine or strong drink…” (Jud. 13:7).
To Kings: “It is not for kings, O Lemeul, It is not kingd to drink wine, Nor for princes strong drink” (Prov. 31:4)
To all Israel (in the wilderness): “You have not drunk wine [yayin] or strong drink [shekar]; that you may know that I am the LORD your God” (Deut. 29:6).
Note:
1) Total abstinence from strong drink was God’s norm for all believers;
2) Total abstinence from all wine was the ideal for all believers, and
3) was exemplified by spiritual leaders
Drunkenness is Not the Only Reason to Abstain from Alcohol
- It slows the thinking process (Prov. 31:4-5).
- It makes one dizzy (Job. 12:25).
- It is associated with self-centeredness (Hab. 2:5).
- It causes sickness (Jer. 25:27).
- It causes forgetfulness (Prov. 31:6-7).
- It produces delirious dreams (Prov. 23:33).
- It results in sleepiness (Gen. 9:20-25).
- It produces complacence and laziness (Zeph. 1:12).
- It numbs one’s feelings (Prov. 23:31-35).
- It leads to poverty (Prov. 21:17).
- It leads to brokenness (Jer. 23:9).
- It results in sadness and depression (Isa. 16:9-10).
- It causes sorrow (Prov. 23:29-30).
- It produces blackouts (Gen. 19:33-35).
- It leads to immorality (Joel 3:3).
- It encourages sexual perversion (Hab. 2:15).
- It results in guilt (Isa. 24:20).
- It causes injuries (Prov. 23:35).
- It can result in insanity (Jer. 51:7).
- It makes one vulnerable to his enemies (1 Sam. 13:28).
Beer and Wine are Strong Drink
Biblical wine was fermented but diluted 3 to 1.
Jewish Talmud: Passover wine was 3 parts water to 1 part of wine (Pesahim 108a cf. Shabbath 77a)
Inter-testamental Period: “It is harmful to drink wine alone, or, again, to drink water alone, while wine mixed with water is sweet and delicious…” (2 Mac. 15:39).
Some Pagan Mixtures:
Homer: 20 to 1
Pliny 8 to 1 (See Stein, “Wine Drinking in NT Times” Chirstianity Today, 6/20/75).
At 3 to 1 ratio it took 22 glasses of NT wine to get drunk
It was basically a means to purify and sweeten water.
Ancient Wine Mixing With Water “In ancient times wine was usually stored in large pointed jugs called amphorae. When wine was to be used it was poured from the amphorae into large bowls called kraters, where it was mixed with water…. From these kraters, cups or kylix were then filled” (Stein, “Wine-Drinking in NT….”
Taking Unmixed (Today’s) Wine Was Considered Barbarian by Pagans!
Mnesitheus of Athens said: “Mix it half and half, and you get madness; unmixed, bodily collapse”!
Early Church Father Cyprian: “Thus, therefore, in considering the cup of the Lord, water alone cannot be offered, even as wine alone cannot be offered” (Epist. 62.2.11)
Clement of Alexandria added: “It is best for the wine to be mixed with as much water as possible…” (Instructor 2.2).
- It is Condemned
- The Bible Condemns Strong Drink as a beverage.
- Today’s Beer and Wine are Strong Drink.
- Hence, Today’s Beer and Wine are Condemned by the Bible as a beverage.
- We Should not do What God Condemns.
- Therefore, we should not drink today’s beer and wine as a beverage.
- It is Deadly
- We Should not take what is Deadly.
- Taking Alcohol is Deadly.
- Hence, we should not take Alcohol.
Evidence that taking Alcohol is Deadly
- It causes more deaths than any other drug (about 200,000 per year).
- It is responsible for 70% of drownings & chokings.
- It is involved in 50% of all “freak accidents.”
- It causes some 27,000 deaths a year by liver disease.
- 30% of all suicides are alcohol related.
- 20% of all airplane crashes are alcohol related.
- 50% of all murders are drunk when they kill.
- 50% of all fire deaths are alcohol related.
- It causes about a third of all traffic deaths (It would be higher, if blood test were given to the dead too). (Statistics are based on US government reports)
III. It is Dangerous
- We Should Not do What is Dangerous to Society.
- Drinking alcohol is Dangerous to Society.
- Hence, We Should not Drink Alcohol.
Evidence that drinking Alcohol is Dangerous
- It contributes to more deaths than any other drug.
- It leads to drug addiction (18 mill in US=8.5% of population).
- It is involved in both spouse and child abuse.
- It contributes to mental and physical diseases.
- 45% of the homeless are alcoholics.
- It causes 500,000 injuries per year.
During Prohibition (1920-1933): social ills decreased!
Cirrhosis dropped 66%
Insanity decreased 60%
Arrest for drunk and disorderly conduct decreased 50%.
Spouse and child abuse dropped to an all-time low.
Addiction & consumption decreased for 55 years (up to 1975).
- It is Addictive
- We Should Avoid Addictive Drugs.
- Alcohol is an Addictive Drug.
- There are 16 million addicts in the US.
- Alcoholics outnumber all other addicts.
- 77% of high schoolers use alcohol.
- 29% of high schoolers drink heavily.
- 44% of 8th graders drink.
- 1 in 10 social drinkers will become addicts
Question: Would you get on an airplane if there was a 10% chance it would crash?
- We should avoid alcohol.
- It is Unhealthy
- We Should Avoid Drinking What is Bad for our Health.
- Drinking Alcohol is Bad for our Health.
- So, We Should Avoid Drinking Alcohol.
Proof that drinking Alcohol is Bad for One’s Health
- It is the number three health problem.
- It results in 1/2 million hospital admissions.
- It impairs the function of vital organs.
- It causes liver diseases.
- It contributes to heart attacks.
- It increases the chances of cancer 3-6 times.
- It is the number three cause of birth defects.
- It can cause insanity.
- It can injure the nervous system.
- It can cause impotence and sterility.
It is Unhealthy
- We Should Avoid Addictive Drugs.
- Alcohol is an Addictive Drug.
- So, We Should Avoid Alcohol.
- It is Costly
- We Should Not Do What is Unnecessarily Costly to Society.
- Drinking Alcohol is Unnecessarily Costly to Society.
- Hence, We Should Not Drink Alcohol.
Evidence that alcohol is Unnecessarily Costly
- Special services $7 billion a year.
- Medical services $19 billion a year.
- Loss of future earnings by death is $37billion.
- Alcohol related illness is $86 billion.
- Fetal alcohol syndrome is $1 billion.
- Loss of earnings of crime victims $10 billion.
- Crashes, fires, and crime is $24 billion.
- Total cost of alcohol abuse is over $184 billion.
VII. It is a Bad Example
- We Should not be a Bad Example.
- Drinking Alcohol is a Bad Example.
- Hence, We Should Not Drink Alcohol.
Note:
1) Children are imitators, and if we take addictive drugs, then they will imitate us.
2) They won’t do what we say but what we do.
3) We won’t convince them to stop their drugs until we stop using our drug (which is worse).
VIII. It is not Edifying
- What is not Edifying Should be Avoided.
- Drinking Alcohol is not Edifying.
- Drinking Alcohol Should be Avoided.
Paul wrote: “All things are lawful, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful, but all things do not edify (build up). All things are lawful, but I will not be brought under the mastery of any”(1Cor. 6:12).
- It Causes Others to Stumble
- What Causes Others to Stumble Should be Shunned.
- Drinking Alcohol Causes Others to Stumble.
- So, Drinking Alcohol Should be Shunned.
Paul said: “It is good neither to eat meat nor to drink [diluted] wine, nor anything by which your brother stumbles…”(Rom. 14:21).
Of course, strong (undiluted) wine is forbidden.
- It is Unnecessary
- We Should Avoid Doing Harmful Things That Are Unnecessary.
- Drinking Alcohol is a Harmful Thing That is Unnecessary.
- We Should Avoid Drinking Alcohol.
Note: We have plenty of good drinks that are not as harmful–water, milk, fruit juices, coffee, tea, and others.
Conclusion
- Even one good reason is a good reason not to drink alcohol.
- Two or more reasons are very good reasons not to drink it.
- Ten reasons are overwhelmingly good reasons not to drink it.
Hence,
1) We encourage all Christians not to drink it.
2) We require all church leaders not to drink it. (Not because it makes you more spiritual but because it manifests your commitment and maturity
If God Didn’t Want Us to Drink It, Why Did He Make it?
- It is a sedative (Prov. 31:6): “Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish.”
- It revives the faint (2 Sam. 6:2): “The donkeys are for the king’s household to ride on, the bread and fruit are for the men to eat, and the wine is to refresh those who become exhausted in the desert.”
- It is an antiseptic (Lk. 10:34): “He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn….” took care of him.”
- It is a laxative (1 Tim. 5:23): “Stop drinking only water, and use a little [diluted] wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.”
Answering Some Objections
Objection 1: The Bible only condemns drunkenness, not taking strong drinks.
Answer: Not so. One of the reasons it condemns strong drink is because it leads to drunkenness, but it is not the only reason. Strong drink itself is condemned.
It is also addictive and harmful in many other ways (physically, emotionally, psychologically, and socially).
Objection 2: Doesn’t the Bible actually commend using strong drink as a beverage in Deut. 14:26: “And you shall spend that money for whatever you heart desires: for oxen or sheep, for wine [yayin] or strong drink
[shekar], for whatever your heart desires; you shall eat there before the LORD your God, and you shall rejoice with your household.”Answer:
1) OT condemns strong drink as a beverage (see X).
2) Unclear texts like these should not be used to contradict clear ones.
3) It was bought in strong (undiluted) form for ease in travel and storage, and for use as a medicine–not to drink as such.
4) Whatever drinking they did was in diluted form (see I).
5) In whatever form, the use here was specifically for a Jewish festival and is not a norm for general consumption.
Objection 3: It is legalistic to make extra-biblical laws like total abstinence which the Bible does not make.
Answer: It is not extra-biblical since the Bible condemns “strong drink,” and today’s alcohol drinks are “strong drink.”
Further, not every extra-biblical rule is legalistic–only those used as a condition for meriting God’s grace, whether for getting justification or sanctification.
Objection 4: The Bible says it is OK to take a “little” wine (1 Tim. 5:23) as long as it is not too “much” (1Tim. 3:8); It does not teach total abstinence.
Answer: It is speaking about a “little” and not “much” diluted wine [Hb.: yayin], not the undiluted intoxicants [Hb.: shekar] such as wine, beer, and whiskey which people drink today. We should totally abstain from these.
Objection 5: What about nicotine and gluttony? Aren’t they addictive and destructive too.
Answer: Yes, but we must eat food to live, but we do not need to drink alcohol to live.
Nonetheless, Christians should avoid all nicotine (since it causes cancer) and all gluttony (since obesity is harmful to one’s health).
Objection 6: What about studies which show that regular use of alcohol helps prevent heart disease (by increasing good cholesterol)?
Answer:
- They have shown a statistical connection, not a causal one. It is also known that “statistics lie, and liars use statistics.”
- It may be due to antioxidants present, not the alcohol.
- Other studies show grape juice has similar results.
- Even the statistically favorable studies admit there may be other genetic and environmental factors at play.
- The American Heart Association does not recommend it.
- There are other non-alcoholic methods, such as diet, exercise, and non-addictive drugs that can be used.
- The end doesn’t justify the means–if they are wrong (e.g., stem cells from abortion or alcohol for pregnant women’s hearts).
- It is a fact that non-drinkers live longer (52% vs. 40% live to 75+).
Objection 7: It makes me relax and feel better.
Answer: Don’t make your happiness depend on addictive drugs. It is both deceptive and dangerous.
If you want a high without a hangover: “Do not be drunk with wine in which is excess; but be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Eph. 5:18).
Objection 8: I need it for my nerves.
Answer: There are non-addictive diets and drugs that can help your nerves.
Better yet–try God’s plan: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which passes all understanding will keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus”(Phil. 4:6-7).
Total Abstinence is the Best Policy
No one ever had the following alcohol related consequences who refused the first drink:
No one ever got drunk without the first drink,
Nor got an addiction to it w/o the first drink,
Nor got a disease from it including: heart attacks, cirhossis, insanity,
Nor engaged in spouse or child abuse DUI of it,
Nor killed anyone in an accident DUI of it,
Nor caused any debt or injury DUI of it,
Nor caused anyone to stumble in their faith!
The Main Points
- The Bible condemns using strong alcoholic beverages and drunkenness.
- In Bible times, they used light alcoholic beverages in moderation.
- Today, given the many harmful results of alcohol and the many non-alcoholic alternatives, total abstinence is the best policy.
No Temptation is Too Strong!
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1Cor. 10:13).
- Published in Apologetics, Family, Spiritual Growth
Coal Basket and the Bible
Trust and obey
The story is told of an old man who lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning, Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading from his old worn-out Bible. His grandson who wanted to be just like him tried to imitate him in any way he could.
One day the grandson asked, “Grandpa, I try to read the Bible just like you but I don’t understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bible do?”
The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and said, “Take this coal basket down to the river and bring back a basket of water.” The boy did as he was told, even though all the water leaked out before he could get back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, “You will have to move a little faster next time,” and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket,” and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, “I don’t want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You can do this. You’re just not trying hard enough,” and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.
At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got very far. The boy scooped the water and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, “See Grandpa, it’s useless!” “So you think it is useless?”
The old man said, “Look at the basket.” The boy looked at the basket and for the first time he realized that the basket looked different. Instead of a dirty old coal basket, it was clean. “Son, that’s what happens when you read the Bible. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, it will change you from the inside out. That is the work of God in our lives; to change us from the inside out and to slowly transform us into the image of His son.”
- Published in Children's Ministry, Family, General Ministry, Leadership